


Slowly drowning (in you)

by orphan_account



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Masturbation, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 08:21:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: „She by no means won that knowledge quiz, and he knew that, but it was perhaps some kind of a desperation on both ends, of which neither would speak nor acknowledge.”OrLevi is sad & horny but he fucks MC eventually.
Relationships: Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 98





	1. La belle femme

He should’ve realized, he thinks, he was meant to suffer the moment he made a pact with her. She by no means won that knowledge quiz, and he knew that, but it was perhaps some kind of a desperation on both ends, of which neither would speak nor aknowledge. It was, however, deeply engraved into the relationship beetwen them, making its presence known, even going as far as to evolve into a sort of a constant need for eachothers presence (or maybe it was only like that on Leviathan’s side, he wouldn’t know). But the scary part was that it was now seated in his chest, hot, heavy, aching, and somehow still growing, threatening to burst his chest open.

If it would’ve been only that, a quiet sorrow to drown in, an ugliness and pain within him to be left unseen, ( it was, however, far from ugliness) then it would’ve been fine; but that was not the case, and it proved to be a real problem, going as far as to affect his ability to be around her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Often he would find her hanging around his brothers, her expression more lively, just enough not to be suspicious but enough for him to notice. And at times like those, his chest would become so incredibly heavy, and cold, just like the depths of the merciless ocean (very much like these feelings). And tears would threaten to stream down his cheeks, to show him just how much of a friend and how much of that frightening more she was.

Because, perhaps, he knew deep down that she would, could never return his feelings. Because she was the sun, the center of the universe and the all of its affection, so pretty and golden, and he was the moon, shining dimly for nobody to see in the depth of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But what was, at times, even worse was the the burning he felt along with her presence. Just as heavy, but hot, crawling at his insides and, occasionally, that intimate part of him. Words of hatred would spill out of his mouth, not too long after she’s gone, his cock straining against his sweatpants, standing there as a proof of his undeniable attraction to her. Those moments were raw, vulnerable and naked; there were no lies he could tell himself,no denying the truth he so wished to deny. And more often than not, his cheeks would end up wet.

A motion of her lips, movement of her tongue, or a look at her flushed face and perfect features- anything could lead to a reaction of his body, leaving him hot and desperate, and so awfully awkward.  
But she would just reply with an almost knowing silence and a sickeningly sweet smile- so much it made him fear she knew about his desire and the things left unspoken. 

In the darkness of the silver nights, gasping and gripping, cold sweat glistening down the hot skin and eyes firmly closed- it was at moments like these that he desperately wished to be able to hate. To hate her, to the very core of her being; to despise the sight of her and the feeling of her name on his lips. Yet, that very same name was being repeated over and over again, dripping like a sweet venom. Because he could never hate her , (and even if he could, would he ever choose to do so? His mind stays awfully quiet on this matter) and he could only continue to drown in the endless depth of the ocean.


	2. My smile is extinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! The new chapter is finally here! I’ve been working on some stuff for school and an illustration of the last scene from chapter 1. I tried to upload the pic, but it kinda just turns out blank? I have no idea. If you guys want, just leave a comment and I will post it on my twitter!  
> Anyways, enjoy reading!

Envy. It was a familiar feeling, easy to fall and bathe in. Easy to feel. Because it was unfair. It was always so, very unfair. But nonetheless, it would hurt.

But the hurt would disappear when she was around. It would be replaced with burning (passion and want) hot and low and boiling.

„Sometimes I’m so scared.” He would say, naturally, almost like it was what people said while playing video games.

„Of what?” She’d ask, cruelly. (Is it possible to be that clueless, truly?)

„I...Just; I don’t know. Don’t mind me.”

(Of her. Her smile. The way hereyebrows scrunch up when she’s thinking. Of how hard she gets him.)

„Levi. It’s okay. Tell me.”

(Of the burning. The pain. The inevitability of it; of his pain. Of her.) He says nothing, rolling his eyes instead.

„It’s nothing! Wanna play this new game I bought?”

And she says nothing, (again, is it possible to be that clueless? Or is she, perhaps, just cruel?) quietly, as nothing should be said. But his breath is hitching in his throat; expecting, waiting, for something more, a reaction, a sign that yells at him that it’s just an act and not cruelty; nothingness smiles at him evilly. He chuckles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She’s with Mammon. Is that supposed to be a surprise? Wasn’t he given the advantage of being her first? (What would be the excuse if it was him who was first? He wonders.) She smiles, clawing, digging at his soul, having left, and yet, still leaving, a myriad of scars. Agonizingly beautiful, a one way ticket to despairing madness ( much like these feelings). He approaches them (do flies ever approach spiders without truly, sickeningly wanting to die?).

„Hey, Mammon.” He’s met with two pairs of eyes. Was four always such a big number?

„Oi.”

„Uhh..” (I hate you) „Lucifer called for you, stupid.” 

The desperate idiocy. What made him think he’s worthy of having her name spill from his lips? (Gross. Disgusting. Pervert.) 

„Shit. Thanks, bro. See ya later!”

They are alone. She’s right there, mere inches away; what’s keeping him from making her his in every way possible, (He’s a coward) from letting his feelings run out his mouth,(coward) watch her pupils blow wide in adoration (a fucking coward)? 

„Why did you lie?” 

(Because he’s a coward)

„How do you know I lied?”

She shrugs, like it’s unimportant, insignificant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She’s breathless, sprawled on his bed; naked. Lips touch, and the kiss is slow, gentle, getting inflated, heated. Tiny breaths escape said lips. Sweat glistens on skin and one tan hand touches her full, pink breast. She whimpers.

He wakes up, startled. His chest aches, dull. It was all in his head but the hatred is very real; alive, furious and set heavy. (Can he truly hate his older brother? The anger within him gives enough of an answer.)

He’s hard again. Straining against his pajama bottoms, almost painfully. (Disgusting. It was only a dream, like so many have been. Guilt settles in his gut along side heavy desire.) He hates it (loves her). And he’s gasping, once again, pathetically, almost poetically, while gripping his hard cock. He’s dripping, and it’s so embarrassing, he’s so disgusting but all he can think about is the way she would look at him with raw admiration and take him, claim him and make herself his.

But he comes in his hand, the guilt seeping through his veins and corrupting him. 

(Disgusting. Coward. Pervert.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, feel free to leave any criticism. Am I being to static? Does it need more plot? Is the character ooc? Please point out any of these things!
> 
> The song for this chapter is „My smile is extinct” by Kane Strang

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fic, so I hope it’s not too bad. This chapter is pretty static, but I promise that the new chapters will be a lot more dynamic! Also no beta for this one, we die like real men.
> 
> Song for todays chapter is „La belle femme” - hunny
> 
> If you want, check out my twitter! (@miwks_)


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